


Bruce's Apple Pie of Death

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [44]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anaphylaxis, Clint has allergies, M/M, apple pies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:00:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1806196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Bruce didn't mean to almost kill Clint with pie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruce's Apple Pie of Death

Clint was thinking of going to the tower’s range while he waited for his husband to finish his meeting with Steve and Pepper about PR events, when his nose made him stop. Clint walked into the kitchen brought in by the amazing aroma of something baking. He found Bruce standing by the counter and with his back to him and whistling.

"Smells good. What’re you cooking?" Clint asks as he seats himself on one of the chairs over by the counter.

Bruce looks over his shoulders, smiles and hums. “Apple pie.” He sing-songs.

"You’re awfully happy. What’s up?"

"I found a store downtown that can get me a batch of Pu-erh." He says more to himself as he continues to clean the dishes he used.

"Poo-what?"

Bruce rolls his eyes at him. “Pu-erh. It’s a rare tea. I’ve had it just once, but it’s so good. You should try it, I’m not sharing my batch though. Sorry.” He says not sounding sorry at all.

Clint scoffs. “It’s cool. Tea’s your thing. My thing is apple pies.”

"No. Your thing is anything edible and free."

"Exactly. and right now, it’s the apple pie in that oven."

Bruce was about to say something when the timer dinged. Clint claps his hands together then rubs it. Bruce sets aside the wet dishes and moves to take out the pie and places it on the counter. He immediately swats Clint’s hands when the archer tries to reach for it. “Let it rest Clint.” Bruce says before he takes off the mitts. “I’m going to go to the lab and get some earl grey and that pie better still be whole when I get back!”

Then Clint was suddenly alone with the most golden, sweet-smelling, gorgeous and steaming apple pie in the history of apple pies. 

He looked around and then stood up to go around the counter and stand in front of the pie. Bruce said that it better be whole when he got back. If Clint just tasted the crust, that wouldn’t count right? Right.  _Right?_

He tried to take a piece of the crust of, but quickly pulled away when the hot surface of the pie tray hurt him. He winced and glared at the pie before turning to search for a fork. When he found them, he raised the one like a trophy and faced the pie with a predatory smirk. He dug into the pies crust and tried to take just a tiny bit from the center, but the fork had gone a little too deep and Clint ended up taking a forkful. Oops.

Clint stared at the sweet, steamy, apple-y goodness and blew on it carefully, cooling it. He then happily placed the apple mouth and groaned when the pie touched his tongue. Bruce, after all, did make the best baked goods.

As soon as he swallowed, his tongue started feeling swollen, and his throat was dry. He couldn’t breathe properly and his legs felt like jelly. Clint collapsed unto the floor, his hands on his neck. “J-J-ARVIS. C-Call Phi-il.” He stuttered, his breathing getting even more uneven every second.

—-

"Agent Coulson. There is an emergency in the kitchen. Agent Barton seems to be experiencing an allergic reaction."

Phil didn’t even think, and moved out of his chair and straight to the elevators with Pepper and Steve close behind him. “Call for an ambulance.” Phil says to JARVIS when the elevator doors closed. 

"Already did, sir. Estimated Time of Arrival, 10 minutes."

Phil cursed under his breath. “Shit. that’s too long. Can you find a way to make them get here faster?”

"I’ll try, sir."

"Thank you, JARVIS" The elevator stopped on Phil and Clint’s floor and Phil dashed out and disappeared into the bed room. He came back out after a few seconds carrying what looked like an oxygen tank.

When they arrived at the kitchen, Bruce was bent down next to Clint, trying and failing to get the man to breathe. Phil ran to his husband’s side and Bruce practically reached out and grabbed the mask from Phil, placing it over Clint’s face. Phil turned the canister on and asked Clint to breathe deeply. “What happened?” He asked Bruce.

"I don’t know. When I came back, he was like this." Bruce said.

Phil then noticed the apple pie. “Does that have any peanuts in it?”

"Yes. I put peanuts in the crust mixture." 

"Agent Coulson, The ambulance has been held up." JARVIS informs. "But Mr. Hogan is on standby in the tower’s parking lot, ready to go."

"Okay, let’s move Clint out of here. We need to get to the Hospital as quickly as possible." Coulson hands the canister to Dr. Banner and moves to scoop Clint up. He carried the archer into the elevator and unto the parking lot where Happy was waiting with the car ready to go.

—-

Clint groaned when he woke up to white ceilings and the smell of antibiotics. “What happened?” was what he meant to say, but what came out was just a series of grunts.

Phil, Steve, Pepper, Tony, Natasha, Thor and Bruce were all standing by him. 

"Hey, sweetie. How’re you feeling?"

"Like shit" but he slurred so what came out was "Ly shi."

They all visibly relaxed when they were reassured that Clint was okay.

"You ate my pie, when I told you not to." Bruce says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Clint smiled a tiny bit. “M’sorry. I’was good pie though.”

"It’s okay. Next time, I won’t make poisonous pies." Bruce jokes.

Phil chuckled at him and kissed his forehead. “No more scaring me like that, okay, sweetie?”

Clint ducked his head, and nodded. “M’Sorry.”

"I know it’s not really appropriate right now? but who wants pie? I really don’t want to waste this." Bruce offers.

All of them went to get a piece of the pie save for Clint and Phil. When Bruce noticed, he called out to Phil. “Agent, are you allergic to peanuts too?”

"No." Phil says. "But if I eat anything with peanuts, I can’t kiss Clint." 

Phil smiled, Clint grinned, and Bruce rolled his eyes at them, shaking his head.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/89163611536/i-thought-i-memorized-my-speech-i-didnt)
> 
> Edit: Okay, it has come to my attention that this fic is fairly inaccurate. 
> 
> I would like to apologize, I clearly have no experience with people with allergic reactions and I have never eaten/baked pie. Everything you see here is a product of my imagination and pure research from various sites with the help of my best friend Google. The inaccuracies of this fic is my own fault. So once again, I apologize.


End file.
